Ryder’s point of view: Pure Hell

Pure hell...

Summers in Texas are hell on earth. You can't get away from the heat. It surrounds you like an extra layer of skin, bogging you down. Tonight that heat was full of humidity, making everything sticky. All I wanted was to get inside a cool bar and have a cold beer. A few more steps and I would be there.

I stayed close by Maddie as we entered the club. The smell of smoke and sweat hit us as soon as we walked in, reminding me of the dive back home where I usually hung out on a Friday or Saturday night. Drunk, angry, and pissed-off at the world for something...no, someone...I couldn't have.

Loud-ass music full of deep bass made the floor vibrate beneath the soles of my boots. We pushed through the crowd, trying to get to the bar. The place was packed, overflowing with a bunch of college kids trying to act cool and score.

I didn't let Maddie get more than a foot in front of me, afraid to lose her in the madness. Her hair swung gently between us, feeling soft against my forearms each time I bumped into her. I could smell the shampoo she used. Vanilla. Damn scent drove me crazy.

I was still lost in that smell when she suddenly stopped in front of me, waiting to get through the mob of people jumping up and down to the music like a bunch of kids hyped up on Monster energy drinks with a splash of Red Bull.

I bumped into her and, hell, that was bad. Her body felt perfect against mine. Too perfect. Damn. I was a mess and having her was the only solution.

Taking a deep breath, full of frustration, I got another whiff of vanilla. Shit. Calm the fuck down before you haul her out of here and slam her against the truck, taking what you want.

I closed my eyes for just a second, bringing myself back under control. I couldn't do this to myself or to her. I pushed the feelings away, deep inside of me where no one could see them and no one could touch them. We were both safer that way. When I opened my eyes again, I knew what people saw was a cold, hard man staring back at them. Just the way I wanted it.

Knowing Eva and Maddie couldn't smack this mob out of the way, I ran my hand gently down Maddie's arm, gaining her attention as I moved around her. Dark eyes looked up at me, the impact of them having the power to bring me to my knees. For the millionth time in my life, I looked into her eyes and knew I would do anything for this woman.

Keeping one eye on Eva and Maddie, I pushed my way through the drunk, pulsating crowd, making sure the two of them stayed safe behind me. Men backed away when I walked past, as well they damn better. The women stared openly at me, letting me know that I could be in their pants within seconds if I wanted. But I wasn't interested. There was only one girl for me.

At the bar, I leaned against the counter and waited for the bartender. I needed a beer. Quick.

"You look hot, Maddie," I heard Eva shout over the music as they stood waiting for me.

Hot didn't begin to describe Maddie.

Every emotion I ever had when I was around her rose up in me, almost knocking me on my ass. I ran my fingers through my hair, needing to do something with my hands before I grabbed her and just held onto her forever.

"Watcha having?" the bartender asked, opening a longneck and handing it to the chick standing next to me as he waited for me to order.

"Shiner Bock," I answered, pulling out my wallet and digging for some cash. "Maddie!" I called, motioning her over as I pulled out a twenty.

She turned, her innocence written all over her face. It hit me like it did every time I looked at her. I wanted that innocence. I wanted to take it, own it, make it mine. Maybe I needed a shot instead of a dang beer.

A small smile lifted her full lips as she walked closer. I wanted those lips on me. I wanted to taste them at least once. Reality was that I didn't deserve her. I was the devil. Being with me would just blacken her soul.

A big guy who was too busy talking to his buddies instead of watching where he was going bumped into Maddie, making her trip. I grabbed her elbow, keeping her upright, as she fell against me.

I wanted to go beat the shit out of the guy for running into her and for not apologizing but Maddie wouldn't want me to fight so I ignored the rage running through my veins.

"You want a drink?" I asked her, tapping down my anger.

Her brown eyes met mine, looking up at me like I was a goddamn hero for saving her ass from a drunk jerk.

"No, thanks," she said, smiling sweetly at me before turning to Eva.

Her friend caught my eye, giving me a knowing smirk. One day, I might ring that girl's neck but honestly, I liked Eva. She was super-protective of Maddie and that was a good thing.

We stood around watching the crowd for a few minutes. Lovers stood shoulder to shoulder with the lonely, making people-watching a favorite pastime of mine at a bar. People did some crazy shit when they were drunk or on the prowl. Can't say that I blamed them but tonight, I wasn't joining in.

Maddie's breast rubbed against my arm when the crowd pushed her against me. I chugged my beer, needing something to numb the heat racing through my body. A new song came on and Eva grabbed Maddie's hand, dragging her to the dance floor and leaving me alone.

As she walked away, I couldn't tear my eyes off of her. The view was amazing. The skin tight jeans showed off her butt, begging for me to put my hands on it. Those knee-high, fuck-me boots were...God...they were driving me crazy. A vivid image of her in those boots and nothing else burned in my mind. I could almost imagine what it would feel like to have her laying beneath me, those legs wrapped around me.

I took a long drag from my longneck, dragging my eyes from her boots up to met her eyes as she turned around to look back at me. The smile died on her lips. Oh, hell. I swallowed hard. I could see the fire in her eyes. Desire was reflected back at me. If she looked at me like that for very long, I might have to show her what two best friends could do together.

I watched as the crowd swallowed her up, taking her from me. Sitting my empty beer bottle on a nearby counter, I was about to head back to the bar when a feeling washed over me. I needed to watch her. I wanted to see her dance.

I pushed my way through the crowd to the edge of the dance floor. I could see her in the middle, her body moving to the sound of some old-school Beastie Boys remix shit that I swear was going to bust my eardrums.

I watched as she swayed her hips back and forth, causing her long hair to swing over her back, reminding me of dark silk that I wanted to grab handfuls of. One bare shoulder could be seen above her black shirt. 'Off-the-shoulder' is what Eva called it. I called it a dangerous-shirt-that-she-shouldn't-be-wearing.

When some jerk pushed his way between Maddie and Eva, I stood up straighter, my body going rigid. Eva moved back to Maddie, edging the big guy away. Good.

I was just beginning to relax and enjoy the view again when the same guy pushed his way between the two of them. Maddie was a scrapper but this guy was drunk and bigger than her. When his hand grabbed her arm, I saw red.

Within seconds, I was behind her, giving the guy a look that I hoped would make him shit his pants. Grabbing Maddie's waist, I pulled her back against me.

She turned, ready to do battle with whoever had their hands on her. Fear mixed with frustration covered her face. Crap! I had scared her.

"Come here," I said low and soothingly near her ear, never taking my eyes off of the jerk in front of her. I was really holding it together. I wanted to pound the stranger's face in but for her, I would behave.

The guy took the hint and left. Smart man. I tightened my hold on Maddie's waist and pulled her closer. I was here. She was here. The music was decent. Might as well dance.

I moved my hips back and forth, feeling her against me. Her eyes widened for a second before she lifted one corner of her lips in a tiny half-smile. To my surprise, she started moving too, rubbing her body against my crotch and driving me insane.

"Shit, I forgot what a good dancer you are!" I leaned down to whisper in her ear. Her hair tickled my nose and caught on the stubble on my chin. Yep, it felt like silk.

I almost lost what little control I had when she moved down my body, swaying her hips back and forth, touching me everywhere. God!

When she was dancing back up my body, I watched as her eyes turned dark, hesitation filling them along with embarrassment. As much as I loved to see her blush, I didn't want her to feel that way with me.

But there was one thing I wanted to feel. Her against me.

My hands moved down to her bottom, bringing her closer. Without thinking twice, I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "That was fucking hot!" But what I wanted to say were the words burning through my mind. Words that I could never utter to her. Words that scared me and I know would scare her.

We danced a few more minutes, her body rubbing against mine, making it hard to think. Hell, I could barely breath normal.

I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this. Acting like everything was normal was killing me. The sooner I left for the military, the better. I had to get away from her. She was my weakness and I wasn't sure I had the strength left to resist her anymore.

When the song ended, I walked away, leaving her with Eva. I needed a drink and maybe some distraction. Maybe someone to help me forget the feelings I had.

Because being in love with my best friend was pure hell.